Some thoughts on Freedom
“And I will not carry myself down to die
When I go to my grave, my head will be high.” — Bob Dylan
Freedom is a much talked about topic. Especially in times that restrictions are confining many countries and the people in them. In the Netherlands, we have a curfew at 22:00, and many establishments remained closed. I notice my mood swaying, from being okay with the situation to a feeling of being controlled by mindless politicians and helpless to do anything about it. This mood resonates with what I feel with the people around me. The circumstances, regulations and lack of perspective on when things will open up are taking their toll. It’s becoming palpable.
During a walk in the park with a friend, the subject of freedom came up again, this time in the context of feeling free in one’s life. How often can we trap ourselves into thinking that we are no longer free? I can certainly relate to the cascade of thoughts that bring about morbid conclusions, such as the life we live is one we ‘have’ to instead of ‘choose’ to. One would even say that this choice of freedom is for the more privileged amongst us, as those in much more extreme circumstances would be assumed to be more limited.
For those who remember the movie Dangerous Minds (1995), which may be a generation thing, there is a classic scene where Michelle Pfeiffer, who plays the teacher, is trying to enlighten her students about their life choices. She uses the above Bob Dylan lines to expand on her point. One of the kids in the class claps back with a lack of understanding of her (their) circumstances. The teacher reminds them that coming to school and being there is a choice others would not make. They could choose to take a different path in life, but instead, they are in her classroom. She urges them to realise this when she ends her plea with the words, “there are no victims in this classroom”. That even when faced with death, we can and do always have a choice.
More than a month ago, I contracted the Covid-19 virus. I was stuck in bed for more than a week, and to put it lightly, it had me pretty floored. The mix of things made me feel downright shitty. This feeling came from a blend of; physical illness, being isolated, not seeing anyone, taking a break from everything such as work and other obligations, and unsure of the steps I wanted to make in life. I was stuck in my head and couldn’t shake the negative thoughts that were racing through them. Thoughts of uselessness, uncertainty and not measuring up to the standards I put myself up to. Without being conscious of it, I was confined and no longer felt free.
One thing that helped me step out of my head was the realisation of ‘who is the one doing the thinking and feeling’? An aha moment that I am neither my thoughts nor my feelings, but more the consciousness that observes them.
Wait what?
Describing this may sound abstract since it was during this moment that made me realise how free I am. That my thoughts, as much as they might confine me, are merely that, thoughts. When I realised that my awareness of whatever I experienced ultimately allows me to choose whichever path I want. Breaking free from my mind and the negative narrative it plays is what helped me remove the chains of bondage that both my thoughts and emotions hold on me and instead allow them to be as they are. I can now become the observer and smilingly realise that my driving myself absolutely crazy is my mind (or often referred to as the ego) having these thoughts.
So what if we take Bob Dylan’s words and make that choice? What if we learn to hold our heads high? More so, what if we can carry ourselves, not only with our heads, with the awareness beyond our thoughts?
Freedom to each person means something else. Fundamentally though, it is a part of life we can all relate to. Ask yourself a few questions
- What does freedom mean to me?
- What internal thought or feeling is there that is holding me back?
- What would this feel like if I was free?
The next step is about becoming, and ‘being’, that sense of freedom and see how your days after this are.
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“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” ― Margaret Mea