Dear 2018
Dear 2018,
You started with quite some shifting and moving. I was confused and not sure how things were going to go. As I was unsettled and unaware of what adventures would await me, you brought me quite some surprises.
Throughout the year you taught me to appreciate the smaller things in life. Growing closer to people I spend time with, learning to love the things I do more, enjoy the little things, and also to acknowledge who I am and what I stand for.
Thank you for helping me confront my own truths, and even, at times, get functionally angry. To learn how to set my boundaries and to realise what it is I want, without being over-considerate of others, something I do very often. I am most certainly not ‘there’ yet, but I am taking steps that I can finally feel proud of.
You showed me the different faces of love and intimacy. As I needed to redefine and relearn what it all meant, I was comforted with the realisation that love has different ways of showing itself. As I had many weeks and even months of feeling intense loneliness, I was taught the more significant lesson not to seek, but to “be love”. These are the words from my soul brother Peter. It is not something I needed look for, nor was there a gaping hole in my heart I needed to fill, it was something I could become. That I can be a vessel for the love that I seek. That is not the lack of something, but the abundance of something I could tap into. And as irony would have it, when I no longer was searching, it would find me in its different forms.
This year you also taught me to appreciate my own voice. To write my words down, to keep learning and to realise the power I can and want to have. That it is not arrogance or ego that drives me, but the intention to relieve this world from suffering in my own unique way. This translated itself to my personal life and professional life. I was able to ‘be’ myself more, without having to compromise as much as I usually do.
How lucky do I feel to do the work I do? I am often asked, “what kind of work do you do?” as the images and messages spread through my different channels. Whether it be working with social enterprises in the African contintent or trying to change healthcare with programs for residents or clinical educators, I try explaining the best way I can about what it is we do at Better Future and why I joined the company so many years ago. More so, I share why I feel so fulfilled with the incredible things we do and how much impact they have and are having on the world. And within my work, I have found my vocation and a beautiful expression of my own ikigai.
I smile writing these words since you also taught me to let go. I remember starting the year with the intention of ‘experimenting and having more fun’. Well, I most certainly did both; I was able to expand my horizon and did so much more. I met beautiful like-spirited people that I am very connected to. As I tend to be someone that can easily make things deep and heavy, I was taken under the wing by others that taught me to also keep things light and fun. Life is too short, and I am happy I was able to learn to enjoy more, let my hair loose and ride these awesome waves of synchronicity with a group of people I define as the ‘new age hippies’.
There was also the vital lesson of taking care of myself. This year I was able to focus a little more on my mental and physical health. Whether it was meditating, breath work or going to the gym with my awesome ‘coffee and cake’ team. I may not reach my personal goals and ambitions, but I most certainly am making positive steps toward a more balanced lifestyle. I don’t really believe in the whole balanced thing actually, but I do enjoy the chaotic mess making more sense. Or in the words of Jon Kabit Zinn “living the full catastrophe.”
Having a tribe of people at work that feel like family. That no matter what kind of ups and downs I was having were there for me throughout it all. Surprisingly, no matter how I was doing, I felt that I could be myself and would not be judged for it. I get why people get a burnout, and yet what helped me not to have one was that emotional support of a team that was not just focused on the work I do, but also in my emotional and physical well being. We do this for each other, and I am ever so grateful for them and what we have created together. Our slogan is “when good people meet, good things will happen”, and with our team, many good things have happened with many more to come with the way we bring people together and how we design and facilitate our programs.
Then there are the family & friends I have had for years and those I had (re) connected with of late. I wish I did have more time to spend with my loved ones, as I often can feel guilty about not having done so, and yet I also know I do my best. I say this openly and wholeheartedly, I love you. I speak these words not with a light heart since I know that these words are meant. Those I have publicly said this to, know this to be true. They mean more to me than just friends, they are family. Each person brought me a step closer to who I am, and through them, I was able to learn more things about myself.
As I stare towards the blue skies from the window of our regular coffee joint, de Koffie academie, enjoying some coffee and cake down the street of the Vondelgym, after an intense 7 am workout, I realise how grateful I am.
Life has been good and very full this year. It came with its ups and downs and each time taught me a new lesson. Somehow, I must have done something right to be able to do work that I find meaning in, to be surrounded by such incredibly supportive people and to have a life like this one.
2019, I can’t wait for you to start, and 2018, you have been a blessing.
Subscribe to Newsletter